Joys and Challenges of a Working Mom

As the mother of a 25-year-old son and a soon-to-be 23-year-old daughter, I was able to experience being both a stay-at home mom and a working mom. When my son turned five and my daughter turned three, I went back to work. I chose to go back to work at this time  for several reasons. First, my son was starting Kindergarten, and my daughter was a social butterfly who was ready to go and make friends. My household also needed the support of two incomes. And lastly, I missed it.

It wasn’t easy in the beginning. Any mother whose been a stay-at-home knows that changing the patterns your children are accustomed to is hard for both mom and child. Even though my children seemed to be adjusting well, I took on the guilt that many mothers feel. Did I go back to work too soon? Are the kids being treated fairly? Are they happy? Are they safe? My daughter was four months old when 9/11 occurred. Having them safely at home with me when the towers were hit was a huge relief. Thoughts ran through my head when I returned to work, asking myself, “would I be able to get to them if something catastrophic happened?”

Thankfully, my worst fears never manifested, and my children thrived. I did too. It was great to get up every morning and see us all preparing for our day and talking about our schedules. I loved juggling and managing our work schedules with their school plays, recitals, little league practices and games. I was both sad and happy to see them growing socially and becoming more independent. I was also excited and happy to have work of my own outside of their lives. My work kept me intellectually fed, challenged and, like my children, I enjoyed having a social life as well.

As a working mom, I had to give up the idea of being perfect, never needing help and beating myself up for missing or even worse forgetting an event. In our home, we communicated with apologies, grace and understanding when any of us missed our mark. Admittingly, I missed the mark more often than I’d like to admit.

Now that my children are adults, they share with me how traveling with my job taught them at a young age how to navigate through any airport. They tell me stories of moments when I wasn’t available, and they had to think through a situation and make smart decisions on their own as teenagers. They also remind me of important games, honors society functions and, the one I may personally never get over, my daughter’s debutante ball.

In closing, I have never regretted going back to work and being a working mom. It wasn’t always easy, but we made it through. I applaud and celebrate all mothers, including my own, who go to work every day and still make sure there’s food on the table, homework assignments are completed, games are attended and love is expressed.

-Sharrona Reaves, Director of Programs and Development